Yeah. I went there.

 

The past two weeks of my life have been hell. I honestly don’t know how I’m still getting by. In just the past two weeks:

  • One of my two best friends suddenly stopped talking to me. Everything went from normal to angry very suddenly, leaving me quite confused. Looking back, I can now see that he was dropping hints for a while, but (no surprise), I didn’t pick them up. I hope things go back to normal, soon.
  • My other best friend almost died, it sounds like. It’s hard to get information, as she’s been in the hospital. She’s not answering her phone (since she needs to rest), and her boyfriend updated her Facebook page with just a small bit of info. I can totally understand why she’s out of touch, and I hope she gets better soon.
  • School just got ten times harder for me. I spent a lot of energy making a new friend this semester, which I normally avoid doing. She and I were study partners in my Chemistry I class, and lab partners. We worked really well together, and were planning to take two more classes together next semester. Yesterday, she unexpectedly dropped out of college for personal reasons (they don’t sound like her fault). It’s too late in the semester to find a new partner, nor do I have the energy to do so. I also don’t like working with people I don’t know in lab, but I’m too physically disabled to work alone (my teacher did give me the option since he knew the circumstances). Lab, today, wasn’t the most fun. I got paired with the exchange student no one else wanted to work with. He’s smart and  nice, but has a very poor grasp of English and a thick accent. I have trouble with light accents, so I felt horrible making him repeat himself so many times. I ended up doing 80-90% of the work today, anyway.
  • The big one: Rachel dropped it on me just before bed last night (causing me to not sleep). I won’t get into the details, but we’re not moving to Texas, and I won’t be attending A&M. Not for my BS, anyway. I have to take all the plans I had, and connections I made, and throw them out and start over. I owe her one, since she moved out here with me four years ago, so I can justify that. It’s just so difficult for me to change plans I thought were so solid and worked out. I hate uncertainty and that’s all I’m filled with right now.

 

I could really use someone to talk to right now, but my two best friends can’t/won’t talk to me, and Rachel is working tons of overtime at work and not around much.

 

How have I not just given up, again? I’ve done it for less than this.

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